indian parenting blogs

Anger Issues in Children - How to Handle Them

What You Will Find In This Article:

  • How do I control my child's temper?

  • Child Anger Issues Symptoms

  • How can I help my child with anger and frustration? 

  • 12 things to do when your child is angry

  • FAQs on Child Anger Issue Symptoms 


      The best part of dealing with young children is, it can be both joyful and challenging at the same time.

      Like adults, children do get angry which can take many forms such as hitting, pushing, pinching, kicking, biting, throwing, and sibling rivalry. There is nothing wrong with feeling angry. Many kids, however, struggle to distinguish between aggressive behavior and angry feelings. A child who doesn't know how to deal with his or her emotions quickly transforms frustration and anger into defiance, disrespect, aggression, and temper tantrums. We as parents are left with nothing but a question on our mind ‘’what to do when a child is upset’’

      How do I control my child's temper?

      Aggressive behavior can be a normal part of child development and it can take many forms such as hitting, pushing, pinching, kicking, biting, throwing, and sibling rivalry. When children receive consistent negative consequences for aggression they learn to improve their behavior with new skills. However, child anger issues symptoms can be a part of a bigger problem and parents might need to seek professional help. Now coming to the age-old question: How do I control my child's temper?

      Young children have only been on earth for a short period and they have limited life experience and language skills.  Conflicts and aggressive behaviors are to be expected. Behavior is a way young children communicate and it is an opportunity for parents or adults to mentor, guide, and teach.  For toddlers, who can’t say ‘don’t do that when someone takes their toys, they behave aggressively to express their displeasure by hitting, biting, etc.  You might find yourself asking, ‘’why is my 11 year old, behaving that way?’’

      For preschoolers, who can’t regulate their emotions or lack language ability to say ‘I’m angry’, they behave aggressively by kicking, throwing, etc. Understanding Child Anger Issue Symptoms in a successful way is the first step to answering the question: How do I control my child's temper? A child's surroundings, such as unhealthy social interactions may also play a major role in the exposure of anger-related issues. Helpful responses and appropriate role modeling from adults can make the difference between a toddler that learns to express themselves in an appropriate way and one that does not learn to regulate their frustration and anger.  

      Child Anger Issues Symptoms

      Having frequent emotional outbursts is usually a sign of distress in children. Understanding what's triggering your child's behavior is your first step. Child anger issues symptoms go beyond the conventional ideas of anger, A few possibilities may include:

      ADHD: Symptoms of ADHD can include impulsivity and hyperactivity, which can make it challenging for children to control their behaviors. This makes them appear defiant and angry, because it may be very difficult for them to comply with instructions or switch between activities. Almost half of ADHD kids also display defiance and emotional outbursts. Tantrums, arguments, and power struggles can also result from their inability to focus and complete tasks. This doesn't necessarily mean they have ADHD--in fact, ADHD is sometimes overlooked in kids with a history of severe aggression due to the fact that there are so many bigger problems at play.

      Stress: Children who appear angry and defiant often have unrecognized stress. If your child suffers from anxiety, especially if she hides it, she may find it difficult to cope with stressful situations. She may lash out when pressure from school is too much for her, for instance. When anxiety is present, your child may show signs of the "flight or fight" instinct; he may throw a tantrum or refuse to do what is needed to escape.

      Learning problems: Child anger issues symptoms may also include learning difficulties. It's possible for your child to have an undiagnosed learning disorder if he acts out in school or during homework time. As an example, suppose that he has a lot of trouble with math, and he gets very frustrated and irritable when dealing with math problems. As a diversion from real issues, he might rip up his assignment instead of asking for help.

      Aspects of sensory processing: Sensory information a child receives from the world around him or her can be difficult for them to process. When your child is hypersensitive, or under sensitive, to stimuli, things like "scratchy" clothes and too much light or noise can make her feel uncomfortable, anxious, distracted, or overwhelmed. You or other caregivers might not know what causes a meltdown. 

      Autism: You might be wondering what to do when a child is upset. Meltdowns are common among children on the autism spectrum. Any unexpected change can set off your child on the spectrum, as he may need a consistent routine to feel secure. It is possible that he has sensory issues that cause him to experience overload. This leads to a meltdown that continues until he exhausts himself. In addition, he may not know how to express what he wants or needs and we are left with the question “How do I control my child's temper ?’’

      Neglection: Neglecting an emotional need of a child's parent or parents constitutes childhood emotional neglect. This is not necessarily the same as child abuse.  In addition to the intentional disregard for a child's feelings, emotional neglect can also be a failure to observe or act on a child's needs. Neglected children may still receive care and necessities. There is just one key area of support they overlook or mishandle. Which in turn leads to building up child anger issues symptoms

      Understanding child anger issues symptoms can be important to get the child and parents help that they need. 


      Child Anger Issue Symptoms



      How can I help my child with anger and frustration? 

      While medication may not necessarily fix defiant behavior or aggression, it can reduce the symptoms of ADHD, anxiety, and other disorders, as well as improve the conditions for working on these problems. It is critical that both parents and children work together to rein in problem behavior. How can I help my child with anger and frustration is a question asked by almost every parent at some point in their life, we are tempted to jump into the situation when our children are overwhelmed by strong emotions, wishing they would get over it as parents. 

      We see this especially when our child is angry. We all are tempted to give our children advice and tell them what to do. When our children are overcome by powerful emotions, they find it difficult to listen to anyone. Our children want to be understood more than they want advice or criticism. When we understand how they feel, they feel understood. Parents have discovered that simply sitting down and listening to a child can provide the necessary release for anger. You might be wondering what to do when a child is upset.

      When responding to aggressive behavior in children, we need to think of ourselves as guide/mentor rather than a disciplinarian. Gently teach the children the skills to respond to frustration, guide them to become reasonable, happy, and productive adults in an appropriate way. One of the first steps to answer ‘’How can I help my child with anger and frustration’’ is -

        1) Distinguish between feelings and behavior

      Kids can express anger, frustration, and disappointment by labeling their feelings. Help them realize that they are in control of their actions when they are angry by saying, "It's okay to feel angry but it's not okay to hit."  Aggressive behavior is often caused by a range of uncomfortable feelings, including sadness and embarrassment. Therefore, help your kids figure out what caused their anger. A playdate was canceled, but instead of responding with sadness, they reacted with anger because it's easier, or it masks their hurt.

      2) Make Anger Rules

      When it comes to anger, most families have unofficial rules about what behavior is acceptable and what is not. Other families have a lower tolerance for loud voices and slammed doors. Be specific about what you expect in your household rules. Rules about anger should revolve around how to treat others. You need to teach your children to not cause destruction of property due to physical aggression, name-calling, or lashing out verbally or physically when angry. 

      3)  Apply Consequences When Needed

      When your children follow the anger rules, reward them with positive consequences and punish them for breaking them. Children can be motivated to learn anger management skills by positive consequences, such as rewards or token economies. Make sure your child knows the consequences if they get aggressive. Performing extra chores or lending a toy to the target of their aggression may serve as effective consequences, along with time-outs, loss of privileges, or punishment by restitution.

      12 things to do when your child is angry:

      1.   Spend quality time everyday talking and listening to children
      2.  Give children the same respect we give adults
      3.   Focus attention on children’s strengths
      4.   Consider how we interact with children and others around us
      5.   Providing a safe environment where children feel safe, valued, and  respected
      6.   Offer two choices that are okay with you and ask, which you would like      to do?
      7.   Try the ‘when/then’ strategy, e.g. when you put away the books, then          you can go outside.
      8.   Create a special space, such as ‘cozy corner’ or ‘talk-it-out chairs’ for          calming down
      9.   Give verbal prompts, teach sentence frames, e.g. ‘I feel angry when          you take my toys.’
      10.   Involve children in activities, ‘Can you help me put the dishes away/help    me wash out these paintbrushes?’
      11.   Limit the number of time children spend sitting
      12.   Plan for movement-based activity

      FAQs On Child Anger Issue Symptoms 

      Q) How do you discipline a child with a bad temper?

      A) You can help your child control a temper by being his or her ally - you're both rooting for him or her to overcome their tempers. It's during these times when you need your patience the most, despite your own frayed patience from outbursts, opposition, defiance, and talking back. There will be anger, but what matters is how you handle it. When you react to your child's meltdown with yelling and outbursts of your own, you are teaching them to do the same. Maintaining your cool and working calmly through a frustrating situation allows you to demonstrate appropriate ways to handle your anger and frustration.


      Q) What to say to calm an angry child?

      A) Here's What You Can Try-

      1. There's no screaming allowed.
      2. There's no door-slamming in our house.
      3. There's no name-calling.
      4. We don't say mean things in this family.
      5. You may not throw things or break things on purpose.


      Q) Why is my 11 year old so angry?

      A)  Kids with short fuses seem to be born that way. An unhappy person can be impatient, intolerant, or aggressive. It can be stressful for the entire family as a result of unpredictable behavior. As toddlers and preschoolers frequently throw temper tantrums, it's important to notice behavior that deviates from typical childhood behavior. These warning signs may indicate that you should seek professional help for your child. 


      Q) What are signs of anger issues?

      A) Tantrums are common responses to anger and frustration in toddlers. A recent study found that children younger than 4 may have, on average, up to 9 tantrums every week. By the time they enter school, most children will have outgrown these outbursts. Three and four-year-old who are angry or have tantrums may display the following behaviors: Weeping screaming biting kicking stomping pulling or shoving throwing things . A toddler's anger outbursts generally end as their developmental skills progress. You can also help them by teaching them the right strategies for dealing with their emotions.


      Explore wonderLearn

      Plans and pricing

      STEM classes

      Online classes

      Phonics program

      Numeracy program

      Online games

      Summer Courses


      About us



      Terms of service

      Privacy policy

      Refund and cancellation policy

      Hear from us

      | 2022 |Midhas Wonderhood Pvt. Ltd. | All Rights Reserved | Privacy Policy |